good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
