i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am puke
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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