I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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