I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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