I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
