The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Panties = found
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
