don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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