we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
