is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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