Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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