I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
