You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
