all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
