we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
