last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
