You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
