i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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