watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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