Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
