if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The air was thick with penises
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
