Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
