She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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