I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
