I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
