So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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