Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
