I love having hate sex.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
