that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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