I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
