in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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