My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
