So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
