I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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