He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
