found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she told me i tasted like america
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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