can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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