I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
