call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
