She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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