what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
