If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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