The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
