Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
