Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize