She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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