How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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