i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
