butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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