i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
