another moral hangover. fuck.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
