I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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