When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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