Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
