so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
