He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
