i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
