gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
