I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
