He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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